Lone Star Gazette (Dublin, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 19, Ed. 1 Sunday, July 1, 2001 Page: 2 of 8
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Dear Dumb Yankee Rancher
Gima's B
would like to salute you
as
I’d.been on sabbatical. He
I have a stack of mail taller
In her most consoling life’s greatest questions,
latest ranching wins and
losses. Since my Chianina bull several years back, said,
-4
pound the other day at the
to help you anymore. Just do have to try a little harder to
e
mustache Polaroids, Dublin
should take the cigarette pack American, Dale Hyles from
he said yes and no.
S
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We Off er A Complete Line Of Metal Building Products And Services
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1/4 Mile East of Downtown Hico, on Hwy. 6, At The RV Park
BITE TO EAT
66
for the CAT scan. I asked
him if that bothered him and
that I would probably get
kicked, slapped, expelled and
833
8332.
“Dumb Yankee Student, we
all know how hard you work
around here, but the fact is,...
well... .you’re a little long
winded. Maybe you should
tone it down a little and just
That’s it for this week, or
month. As always, for heifer
thine. DYR
groovy), but it wasn’t easy.
I’ll tell you what, that college
can turn into a lot of work for
Sincerely,
July Danley
Executive Director
TriCounty Agribusiness
assimilate rolls of
information, and flesh out
caricatures for all the kids!
TriCounty Agribusiness
Association would like to
extend a big thank you to all
of the people who helped
make DairyFest 2001 a fun
and successful event! Visit us
on the web at
www.tricountyag.com for
more information about
TCAA membership and other
agribusiness events and
promotions.
I
L.
than a. ... well a .. never mind.
I’m a professional earning as
much as $ 100 a year for my
work. I AM the Dumb
Yankee Rancher for the love
of Pete! THIS IS AN
OUTRAGE!”
me if that was an upper or a
downer. I chomped a chip,
tone, my best English
Literature professor, from
cream and stayed for the live
music, games, and giveaways.
Members of the community
walked around the park with
milk mustaches and played
games such as cow patty
bingo to show their support
for the dairy industry. After
all, that is what DairyFest is
all about — showing
To the editor:
DairyFest 2001 was a huge use of their Gators to haul
cooperation of the
Stephenville Parks and
Recreation Department and
the support from the dairy
families of DairyMAX
contributed to the success of
DairyFest 2001!
A special thanks goes to
HEB for donating the ice
cream and coordinating the
delivery of all the delicious
dairy products, Ag Texas
Farm Credit Services and
Bovine Supply Line for
cooking up almost 2,000
grilled cheese sandwiches,
Stephenville Chamber
Ambassadors for serving the
cheeseburgers, Bramlett
chiggers first hand, you’re
welcome to come down and
work on my fences on any
week in July or August.
DYR
6 k
%
has been throwing some
dandy calves lately, however,
any place else for that matter,
in a coon’s age.” I didn’t
really feel like offering Mr.
Happy Hour man too much
information, despite the fact
that he was obviously a
STEPHENVILLE
EAZE.NET
DUBLIN BOTTLING
WORKS
So, I was in this cantina
the other day up in
Stephenville and a guy that I
had only met once or twiced
before said, “Hey Dumb
Yankee Rancher where ya
been, re-hab? “Excuse me,” I
Carport Kits - 20’ x 20’ x 8 - $434.00
20’ x 24’ x 8 - $533.00
12’ x 20’ x 8 - $292.00
Portable Buildings - 9’ x 12’ - $1,225. 00
12’ x 12’ - $1, 650. 00
12’ x 15’ - $1, 950.00
g
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sale bam for a good-sized
heifer (those are the red, fat
ones from England with the
white faces, I think). I was
quite pleased.
Along with traveling
to places as far off as
is annoyed by painful and
itchy chigger bites, but refuses
to scratch their private places
in public, or scratch at all
while stuck in a tube with
their hands over their heads.
This, by the by, is quite a
distinction in our part of the
world.
And last, but not least,
another true ranch story:
According to The Week
magazine, in an attempt to
make the world cooler and
smell better, researchers in
Australia are planning to
vaccinate hundreds of
thousands of beef cattle to
s (drum roll please)
“Chigger Warrior”- one who
in providing this celebration of Erath County 4-H for the
June Dairy Month. The
half an hour with the
instructions not to move an
inch except to breathe. But,
when the newly established
colony of chiggers that he
picked up the night before out
hunting started to burrow into
his skin about five minutes
into the session he.... well, if
you’ve ever had chiggers, you
get the point. So, Dale, we
here at the Lone Star Gazette
or vehement prevail)
environment. To some guys it
would be worth it, but I’m a
little too “goal oriented” right
now since it’s my 23rd year of
college.
Butt, seriously, how
am I supposed to inbreastigate
- "
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this is a disgrace. I’m a
published journalist with over probably arrested in today’s
V threw down the last sip of the 100,000 loyal weekly readers. RSVP (rights of the sensitive
Negra Modelo that I’d been ‘" " "
nursing, and headed out into
the blinding light and steamy
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that I didn’t think I could ever
do that because I’m
claustrophobic.
I used to think that meant a
fear of Santa Clause but it
really means you’re afraid of
tight, small places, which is Ayeeatseelordure. If you
exactly where you’d be if you would ever like to experience
went into that tube they use
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Your Best Deal On Steel"
4669 E. Hwy 67, Rainbow, Texas
Toll Free (877) 227-2977 Fax (254) 898-8218
Editor’s note: This recipe comes to us courtesy of Mozelle I
Burns of Irving. We appreciate her sharing with us and
encourage our other readers to share their recipes too - o |
especially old family favorites. Just be sure to type them M ;
print clearly, including your name. Thanks.
----------- ----•— ------:---—
Implement for allowing us the Association
I was happy to see both of martini and a brief, but
devoted fan, so I told him that them, but I just couldn’t hold stimulating discussion on
in my disappointment over the Venn diagrams, but I’m afraid
winced and proceeded to ask grade. I said, “Look at this,
AD-e.
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RV PARK AND CAMPGROUND
success! Thousands of area milk and ice, S & S Ranch
residents came to sample free Center for providing panels
cheeseburgers, milk and ice for Norman, the pet Holstein
steer, and Gifford’s for
lending us a freezer to keep
the ice cream sandwiches
cold! Many community
organizations provided games
and activities for all the
youngsters (and the young at
heart!) Thanks to
Stephenville Project
Graduation for taking milk
Never Fail Divinity
1/2 cup water
2 cups sugar
pinch of salt
1 (7 oz) jar marshmallow cream
1/4 cup chopped nuts
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professor since I’m not here ain’t easy bein’ me. I’ll just
HICO, TX. 254 - 796-4009
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what she asks and you’ll be “focus” next year. Boafus?
fine.” She also told me that I My friend, and great
. reduce the amount of
ultimate truths in the company flatulence- causing bacteria in
of dozens of young women their stomachs. This should
who are wearing (sotto voce) cut the animals’ methane
bikini tops and skin-tight hip production by 20 percent
huggers that fall well below which should lower total
the, shall I say, tree-line when global yearly methane
they bend over to sit down. production by 5%. Plus the
try to get along with your new I’ve said it a hundred times; it vaccine promotes overall
growth in cattle as an extra
bonus. Whaddle they think of
next?
OK then I only have time for appreciation for all the
one question from my heaving
out of my rolled up bowling the Hico Service Center told mailbag since I haven’t fed the
Florence, Italy where I had my shirt sleeve, quit greasing my me a story the other day. bul yet today ‘ - - - -
picture taken with Dante hair back with Dapper Dan Since it was remotely related < work hard to make sure welall Moms forrhelpingwith the
*........ to ranching and country living, Dear Dumb Yankee Rancher, have Plenty ofmilk to drink. Got Milk? tattoos, Full of
I thought that I would share it what’s a chigger?
from the Laverne and Shirley with you. He’s been having Ayeeatseelordure
show was a funny guy, but trouble with his back since he Umiak Alaska
was never meant to be a role got run over by a truck a
model, not in Texas anyway.” couple of years ago and had to Dear Ayeeat
I took her advice and go to a Fort Worth hospital A chigger is a little biting
finally got on the good side of for a CAT scan. I told him parasitic bug that God sent to
Texas, via the caribou, about a
million years ago to remind us
that... well, he’s not as crazy
about all of us as we would
like to think.
Thank you for your question
my grade on the first English but it is almost impossible to
paper that I had turned in cruise through the halls of
whu- it jumped out at me. It TSU and not sneak a little
was a letter that I had never glance or two towards the
seen before on one of my more extreme cases. Extreme
papers. It didn’t have the cases of what, DYR? Extreme
normal upside down V shape cases of partial frontal or
of the letter A. It was sort of posterior female nudity,
funny looking like a big fat L Sometimes I just want to stop
with two bellies. It looked and ask, “Does your father
like this... .B. I was starting know that you dress, or
to hyperventilate when two of should I say DON’T dress,
my favorite professors like that in public?” What I
converged on me and said, really want to do is ask them if this week’
“What’s wrong Dumb Yankee they’d like to meet me over at
Student, you look miserable?” Bostock’s later on for a
S Gas Grill Parts & Accessories
GBa pom Propane Bottles
fef RV Parts &
I —Mur Accessories
DRINK - ------ ------------
at10-2:4r
gy heat of that black asphalt
A parking lot.
Fact is, I have been pretty
busy these past few months
N and haven’t had any time to
/ sit down at the
typewriter and chronicle my
8
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dairymen in Erath, Comanche, Project Graduation for serving C i ;
and Hamilton counties who up Dublin Dr Pepper, PTO
..... “, nond ) e
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DairyFest sponsor, Surprises for blowing up over i
TriCounty Agribusiness Assn., 500 cow balloons, First g
was aided by many area United Methodist Church for f ®
businesses and organizations holding cow patty bingo, j [ * -
Erath County 4-H for the
mooing contest, and Kerri
Fleming for drawing % r
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two minutes only. Place marshmallow cream in large bowl 1
and pour hot mixture into marshmallow. Stir until candy ,
loses it’s gloss. Add nuts. Drop by spoonfuls onto waxed ■
paper. • h
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said. “Not that I read much,”
he continued, “but I haven’t
seen your picture on the front
• / 5 of that Lone Star Gazette, or
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X I ve got more ranching wins
/ -than losses to talk about. For
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f -it
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Alighieri, and to exotic places hair wax, and loose the pointy
T like Lubbock, TX for my little shoes. She said, “Squiggy
’ f>ch Etta’s basketball camp, ~ •
= 1 ve been mainly involved with
i school. Whadda ya mean,
school, DYR? Well, truth is
that I enrolled in some classes
\at Tarleton University this
past spring so I could get a my brand new English
lttle better knowed up in professor, Ms. Voges (who ,
English composition, speech turned out to be fairly
Jcommunications, and
philosophy. The mastery of
. j- these three disciplines is
I k essential for today’s thinking a middle-aged fat guy from
rancher. Since I, write almost New Jersey, especially with all
• every day, I thought that the of the distractions. Like, the
. f. English class would be a women on campus. Now you
' bseeze, until I got my first all know that I’m engaged to
grade back. I COULDN’T my best girl and ranch hand ne sala yes ana no.
BELIEVE IT. I was sitting on (that is just one person, by the He didn’t really mind being all
a bench in the hallway of the by) and hope to walk down wrapped up with his hands
; third floor of the Humanities the aisle of no return this fall, . over his head inside an
: building at TSU looking for 18-inch diameter tube for a
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Kestner, Laura. Lone Star Gazette (Dublin, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 19, Ed. 1 Sunday, July 1, 2001, newspaper, July 1, 2001; Dublin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1528147/m1/2/: accessed June 13, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Erath County Genealogical Society.