Galveston Labor Journal (Galveston, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 21, Ed. 1 Friday, March 26, 1909 Page: 4 of 8
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GALVESTON LABOR JOURNAL, FRIDAY, MARCH 26, 1909.
GALVESTON LABORJOURNAL
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Entered at the Post office at Galveston, Texas, as Second-Class Mail Matter
He Interviews the Kaiser
MAX ANDREW, PUBLISHER
HENRY RABE,
Local Representative
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
One Year
One Dollar
Six Months
Fifty Cents
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Galveston, Texas, Friday, March 26, 1909
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Labor and Capital
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The Fear That He Was Nutty Caused the Sweat to Pour Down His Face.
word fencer.
facts, and which constantly upholds corrupt officials and unclean
“Extract of smoke,” said the can-
dull
dazed reporter.
board beside a long, long line of
“Now, in the past,”
"you smoked herrings
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Why 1909 Girls Are Stupid.
“The fashionable girl is very
The happiness and prosperity and power of France has been
preserved by the division of its fertile lands among a vast number
| dense,
must
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Ivill took mine, and schmile all righty
but dey petter look a little ouit.”
Then we put on his uniform and
made him get down on his hands and
knees, and I got a piece of board and
stood back of him and told him the
council was ready to confer the spinal
mennigets degree on him, but if he
was afraid and wanted to back out
he could, but if he was willing to go
on and become a sublime and perfect
devil, he should repeat after me the-
grand hailing sign, “Let ’er go Galla-
Subscibers who change their address, or fail to get their paper, should
immediately notify this office, giving both old and new addresses, and the
asme of the organization with which they are connected.
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Im
politicians in the interest of predatory corporations or some vic-' ________ _ _________ _____ .
ious institution, and which denies its columns to men misrepre- ! ner, dipping his brush into a pot of
print long sermons and Sunday school editorials once a week.
-----------o----------
I really quite harmless chemical extract
’ of smoke—a coal tar product—and as
PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING
Office: No. 309 Tremont, Adjoining Cooks and Waiters’ Hall
of farmers with small holdings, who are both landlords and til- brother herrings.
sented, maligned and assailed, is an engine of the devil, though it brown fluid.
• — - - - ! “Extract of smoke?” repeated the
p)
nation. Were the profits of the energies of the virile Americans, I
who are actually doing the work that is creating the wealth of quite improved it out of existence,
this great nation, in an equitable way distributed throughout the We paint our perring now "1 is
country among these workers and producers, instead of gathered
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tralized into greedy groups of financiers at the expense of the hvshanging them uP for daysin smoke
multitudes that must pay the taxes and fight the battles of the
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was slow and expensive;
“Smoke extract,” said the canner.
He took up a fresh herring, painted it
with the dark mixture, and laid it on
we have
costly aromatic woods. That process
as the smoked herring of my boy-
hood,” he protested.
“Not as good, perhaps,” agreed the
canner, “but ever so much more profit-
able.”
TRADEsfe^l COUNCIL >
Mines of the South.
The south mines 3,500,000 tons of
iron ore, or one-fourteenth of the total
for the United States, and 98,000,000,-
000 tons of coal, or one-fifth of the total
coal mined, and locally utilizing these
two natural products, her furnaces pro-
duce 2,500,000 tons of pig iron, or one-
tenth of the whole, and valued at 53,.
000,000.
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things he ought to know before he
goes to America and runs up against
the college gang, but I will prepare
him for the worst if it kills us both.
The kaiser took me into his private
den one morning and asked me if I
thought I could get his son wise to
what would happen to him as a fresh-
man when he went to America, and I
said, “Sure, Mike,” and the kaiser said
his name was not Michael but Wil-
helm, and I told him that didn’t cut
any ice. He seemed relieved that his
son would not have to cut ice.
Communications of interest to trades unionists are solicited. They should
be briefly written, on but one side of the paper, and must reach this office no
later than Thursday noon of esch week. The right of revision or rejection
la reserved by the publisher.
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these Germans are pretty
He asked me how much he
pay me for polishing up the
him sick, and he went off looking in
all the corners for cockroaches.
I told the kaiser that if I had half
a dozen of American boys we could
initiate the prince all right, but he
was bigger than me and I - ought to
have help, so he detailed four servants
to help me and told them to do just
what I told them to do.
Well, we didn’t do a thing to the
prince the first day. First we blind-
folded him and put him in a box stall
in the barn, and took off all his clothes
except his undershirt and drawers,
and we fixed a plank from the second
story window of the barn with one
end in a fountain of goldfish, and we
brought up the prince and made him
take an oath that he wouldn’t get
mad or tell the secrets of ’the order
of “Who-Whos,” and then we seated
him on the plank and I said, “Ene
mene, money my,” and gave him a
shove, and he went down that plank
like it was greased, and struck with
a splash right in among the goldfish,
his blindfold came off, and I saw some
ladies coming across the lawn to visit
the fountain, and I yelled to the
prince to “cheese it,” and he squirreled
back up the plank, and was going to
paste me one in the nose, but I told
him all freshmen in college had to
take their medicine that way and
while we were picking the slivers out
of his drawers he asked if Roosevelt’s
son had to be hazed when he entered
college, and I told him they were haz-
ing young Roosevelt yet, and the
prince said, “Veil, if Roosevelt got his,
into the hands of a few trust barons, there would be little to fear soon as he is dry he is ready for the
for the future stability and happiness of this great republic. ! mThetreporter tasted one of the her.
rings. “But this isn’t half as good
It is a good deal like breaking a
broncho to ride, to prepare a German
prince for an American college, and I
may have got my foot in it by promis-
ing the kaiser to teach his boy all the
of the capitalists? Will the brain, the sinew and skill of labor
submit to this fate, or will they have the courage and genius to
gather themselves into an organization, so compactly unified in
purpose, and so disciplined and trained in action and self-gov-
erned as to throw the vast power of their numbers athwart the
pathway of their taskmasters’ greed and selfish designs?
Will they be able to so arouse all/public conscience in time as
to “scourge the money changers from the temple” and bid de-
fiance to the Pontius Pilates who govern the nation?
These are grave questions, and demand earnest consideration.
this winter, for she has quite reversed
the rule of hygiene that bids us, if we
would be healthy and bright, to keep
our heads cool and our feet warm.
Look at that beauty in the front row.”
The club men together directed their
opera glasses on a very pretty debu-
tante in brown velvet. She sat with
her knees crossed, an attitude which
showed that the high-heeled shoes on
her small feet were of the thinnest
patent leather, while her black silk
stockings were so gossamer-like in tex-
ture as to seem almost a pale brown.
But her hat, on the other hand—her
hat that came down over her forehead
and ears like a drum major’s bear-
skin—was a huze hive-shaped affair of
Thus the light burden of the working masses of the semi-savage,
under tribal conditions, where the necessities were few and social
vanities simple, soon grew most onerous under the more advanced
and complicated industrial and social system. As the burden grew
it will be seen the number of non-toiling classes increased, until
now there are more eaters than there are producers.
At last the aggrandizement of power by the capitalist class has
so grown against all others that this class is becoming man-
. eaters, and it is now devouring intermediaries, and some day, if
no revolution in the system of government occurs, it will finally
devour all of the others who thrive without manual labor.
As it now stands, the capitalist class has been able to combine
and enlist the landlords and merchants and intermediaries with
them and all of their supernumeraries, such as doctors, lawyers
and preachers and sub-classes—satellites and parasites in the op-
pression of labor. These, under the theory of government, that
property and capital are more sacred and important and entitled
to profit first from industry and production, and that human labor
is to be held merely as a commodity to be had at the lowest wage
possible, are holding the reins of all government for capital’s bene-
fit and making mockery out of human justice and righteousness
out of robbery.
The end can be foreseen by wise men that in time capital will
be centralized in a few cunning hands of men who will become
the landlords and bankers and lords of transportation and gov-
ernors of earth, sea and air. There will be then only two classes
—the toilers and capitalists. Of course, there will be those who
do not toil with hands, but they will be only overseers, flunkeys,
play-actors, and singers and priests, and healers, and menials, and
captains of the capitalists, without other status socially than the
despised toilers.
Shall the toilers continue to remain as now, mere animal ma-
chines in field and factory, providing food and fashionable gar-
ments, and holding umbrellas for the convenience and happiness
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to be called a king, and soon enlarging his sphere of influence
he had many chiefs under him. Thus grew the classes of feudal
times. The king owning all the land domain and the air, light
and water in fee, the lords and barons holding as from patents
under him, with all the actual workmen held as serfs of the soil
::nd of the barons of the king.
The king and the barons finding the fruits of the chase uncer-
tain, put the toilers to work cultivatiing fields of fruit and grain,
built roads for public use, cities and wharves and boats and fac-
tories, and later great palaces for the kings and castles for the
lords and barons (chiefs).
So this beginning of the chief’s power in the tribe, under the
fiction of preserving equality of rights between the weak and
the strong of communal tribal rights by creating a central trus-
tee or chief, came the usurpation of property rights in the hands
of a few, who soon, out of their self-consciousness, claimed to be
by birth better than the humble brotherhood which they had
robbed of proper shares in the land and tribal properties. The
invention of money as a medium of exchange and barter and the
necessities of trade and commerce begot a trading class, and soon
a banking class, and in time a capitalist class.
So that latterly there came to be three classes that must have
common aim not only in living upon the fruits of the toilers, but
common cause to force longer hours of work and greater returns
■ from labor to provide luxurious enjoyments for idleness. That is to
both farmer and workman are despoiled of profits of labor and
say, of the landlords, merchants or tradesmen and capitalists, production for only trust benefits.
HERE are some writers who see the inequalities of
rewards resulting from industrial progress, between cap-
ital and labor, and who recognize that the profits of in-
dustry should not all belong to the capitalist. From
the beginning of man’s social relations and advancement
in property holding, and the segregations of the individu-
al properties from the communal rights, there has been
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Amid the gloom of the corridors of the pleasant Driskill, though
the midnight hour has come, the whispers of selfish conspirators
against our good governor and wholesome laws pending before
the legislature goes on, for the lobby attorneys of vested greed
are there, though the “Commercial Secretaries are fled.”
----o---—
Journals and writers opposed to prohibition* bitterly attack
preachers for meddling in the prohibition question, although this
question is not a political, but a moral and health question. Over
half of the laws of the Bible relate to political and health ques-
tions. Now, if the preachers would devote less time to doctrinaire
differences in their church creeds and give one Sunday in each
month to the education of people along lines of practical sanita-
tion and disease prevention it would be a great blessing to hu-
manity. A few lectures on the spirit of the laws of Moses per-
taining thereto would prove “a pillar of light” to many of the
brethren wandering in Egyptian darkness on the subject.
----------o----------
Now that the committees of the house have been reorganized
by a friend of good government, the agents of the corporations
in the legislature are threatening to break a quorum by fleeing to
Mexico and to stay until the session was over. If these gentlemen
would go and promise to stay there the remainder of their na-
tural lives, it would be well to compromise on these terms. Good
government could await an election to fill the vacancies.
------------o------------
The laws of our present system of government, with its con-
flicting jurisdictions between State and Nation, permit a con-
tinuous centralization of wealth into the hands of a few, who,
through corporations acting at once with a citizen’s privileges,
but free from a citizen’s penalties, perpetrate all kinds of sinister
conspiracies against humanity and justice, both in transporta-
tion management and financial arrangements of money markets
and exchange values. It is fast becoming the universal fact that
he indorsed that proposition, but he
could not believe that the dignity of
a prince of the Hollenzollerns, or
i something like that, could be main-
tained properly if his boy could be
hitched up to a buggy and driven by a
woman, because he knew the blood
too well to believe that the prince
could refrain, if the woman was an
American and handsome, from kicking
over the traces and climbing into the
buggy. But he said I could go ahead
and give the prince a few degrees and
see how he caught it onto, already.
The kaiser asked me upon my honor,
if I thought he was crazy. He said
lots of his subjects thought he was,
and he wanted my unbiased opinion,
as sometimes he saw things that
scared him. I told him I thought he
looked nutty, but looks did not count,
that when he thought he saw things
to investigate them and he would find
he was all right, but if he let things
go with no investigation he would be
like a man I knew who was sent to an
asylum and got crazy because he did
not investigate an alarming occurrence
and the kaiser wanted me to tell him
about it.
I told him it was an old story in
high circles in America, but it showed
now to deliver the goods, and he in-
sisted on hearing the story, and I told
him of a man whose friend sent him to
an asylum to have the doctors look
him over, and after a week of exam-
! ination the doctor told him he would
Le an ngnt again in three weeks, and
he could write his folks he would be
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conflict between the toilers and the property holders. The chief-
tan of the tribe grew more and more in self-importance and cun-
ning, and from the mere original position of a governing trustee
in charge and control of all the tribe’s properties, holding for
the common benefit of all the tribe, he soon taught the doctrine
of the ancient fiction of original governments that “the land is
the property of the Kings”; that the title and use of the proper-
ties was solely in the chief, and that the tribe’s use of same was
only permissible on terms imposed by himself. The chief grew
----------o--
At the convention of the State Federation of Labor at San An-
tonio everything should be done that will look to an improved re-
lation and understanding with the Farmers’ Union and the farm-
ers generally. It is through the farmers’ vote in state elections
that the labor of Texas must expect beneficent laws and reform
of industrial conditions. There is no conflict between the farm-
ers of Texas and the organization. The landowners of Texas
recognize labor as an invested capital, and long ago adopted a
system of share farming, where toilers could get proper returns
of the crops in proportion to his energy and skill as a farm hand.
---------O---
The fathers and mothers of this country have the great re-
sponsibility of guarding their growing children’s immature minds
against certain daily newspaper organs of corrupt partisanship
and vicious ownership. If children must read such an organ,
wherein smoldered fires of
lers of the soil. Thus the wealth of the nation has not cen- he explained,
they should be taught to suspect its pretense of any virtue and ' Hlerrings NO Longer Smoked
to read behind the insidious editorials the motif of the cunning i
They Are Now Painted with a Harm-
A newspaper that cooks its news or suppresses less chemical Extract
Hadn’t Noticed It.
Simkins—Your wife is certainly out-
spoken. isn’t she?
Timkins—Not that I know of. I
never met any one who could out-
speak her.—Chicago Daily News.
Every woman with a husband and
children knows that no woman with-
out them has the faintest idea what
real trouble is.
prince, and when I told him I would
halter-break him and fix him up so he
would stand without hitching, and
when I gave him his diploma he would
eat out of my hand and a woman
could drive him, and it wouldn’t cost
a soo markee, the kaiser held his head
and looked as though he was going
to have a fit, and he said he wanted to
think it over. I told him I would give
him time to think it over if he would
think sort of sudden like, and he went
into a sort of trance and I guess he
was thinking, for when he came out of
it he said he supposed it was proper
for the prince to be led around with a
halter, like a horse, in America and
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553/5
Chicago to Have Pure Milk.
Dairymen doing business in Chicago
after a vigorous prodding by Dr. Evans’
the health commissioner, have voted
to submit to the city’s requirements
tuberculin test and all. Dr. Evans
simply said to the dairymen: “Chi-
cago intends to have pure milk and
milk free from disease if it is possible
to have it. And Chicago is going to
get it, according to the Tribune
which says, confidently: “Henceforth
there will be no tuberculosis “germs in
the milk consumed in Chicago.”
sable, -suitable for an arctic expedi-
tion.
“Warm heads and cold feet,” agreed
the club men. “No wonder the girls
this winter are so stupid.”
home again before Xmas. He went
to his room wrote the letter, sealed it
up and licked a postage stamp to
stick on, when he dropped the stamp
on the floor and it fell with the sticky
side on a cockroach, which the man
did not see, and the unseen cockroach
walked across the floor with a stamp
on his back, the man watching the
stamp going away with no visible
means of locomotion. He watched the
stamp reach the wall, and start up
the side and his eyes stuck out and he
felt of his head to see if he was in his
right mind, and the fear that he was
nutty caused the sweat to pour down
his face.
The stamp kept going up the wall
till it came to the ceiling and he
watched it go across the ceiling and
disappear in a crack in the plaster,
and he sat glued to his chair, pale
as death, and finally he got to his
feet, tore the letter into pieces and
threw them in the waste basket, and
said aloud to himself as he felt of his
burning temples: “Three weeks, bunk,I
won’t get out of this asylum , in a
hundred years,” and he began to weep
all over himself.
If he had followed that stamp and
found the cockroach he would have
been cured.
The kaiser laughed like he would
split, and then he said after this he
would always chase cockroaches and
never be crazy in the head any more,
and for me to go ahead and give the
prince all his hazing, enough to make
SV2B•
The world’s conscience must be taught that labor Is capital, and
that labor is entitled to profit.
There is no justice in any human law or philosophy or religion
that shall successfully maintain that labor, skill and its guid-
ance and its invention, which have created all of the mechanism
of wealth, which have dug out from the mines all the useful ores,
out of the hills and mountains the granite rocks and marbles for
the human habitations that proclaim man’s art and skill and pow-
er; which constructs and which moves over the boundless desert
and plain and the wind-swept seas the great vehicles of trade and
travel, shall be entitled to no more of the good things of all so
created save the pittance of bread and coarse raiment and hum-
ble shelter!
This is no plea for the commune, but this is a plea for justice
and for remedy against the commune.
Labor is entitled to a share of the profit as well as capital, and
that share can be calculated in this way, the necessary food and
housing of labor should be figured as expenses in running all in-
dustrial institutions, and then a wage should be paid for each
hour’s work in proportion to service and skill. In running a
steamboat you count as expense the price of fuel. Now the
human machine that directs the engine and feeds the fire has to
be fed as well as the engine. His meat and his bread is the fuel
of this human guide and his food should be a part of the expense,
just as the coke or coal of the engine room. His labor being a
part of the capital that runs the boat should have a fair wage
representing such worker’s investment in the boat, and his capi-
tal being human flesh and bone should come before, the profit of
that party is considered, who only placed his dollars in jeopardy.
One thing, however, is certain, whether the principle contended
for above be workable in practice or not, and that is the sacred-
ness of property and capital which through governmenta agencies
has resulted in such injustice to the many for the luxurious waste,
satiety and debauch of those inheriting “unearned increment,”
must end either in more just distributions of profits and rewards,
or in anarchy, or else the world must turn back to caste systems
and the absolutism.
=2089
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39
■Hffl
—m
The Council Was Ready to Confer the
Spinal Mennigets Degree on Him.
gher,” and he said, “Go ahead, Mister
Gallagher,” and I soaked him one with
the board on the place where his pants
were not creased, and he yelled, “Och,
fader, I will never do -it' again,” and
one of the servants who was helping
to confer the degree said the prince
thought the kaiser had caught him in
the act.
We took off the blindfold, and he
looked around for his father, but I
told him that was all in the degree,
and then he wanted to fight, but I told
him if he wanted to turn traitor now,
they would kill him when he struck
an American college, so he calmed
down, and then I said I was a sopho-
more, and what the deuce was he, a
freshman, wearing a hat in my pres-
ence, and I made him take it off and
carry it under his arm.
He was learning humility all right,
so I decided to have a class rush,
cause he said he wanted one.
We went down to a little lake back
of the palace where there was a dock
where launches landed, and I placed
him near the edge of the water, and
told him that when they had a class
rush on the college campus, the game
was to see which class could throw the
other class in the lake, and that some-
times one class got soused, and some-
times the other, depending on which
was the strongest, see? He said he
thought he saw, and I guess he did.
I got the prince fixed just right, with
his back toward me, and I gave a
running jump down the dock, and was
just going to give him a shove, when
he side-stepped and all I got hold of
was one of his legs, and I went in the
water and dragged him with me.
When we came to the surface he
said, “Vich class was in der votter,”
and I said, “It is a tie you chump,”
and we will have to play it off,” and
then we looked up on the bank and
there was the kaiser and his wife, and
the prince said, “Och, Gott,” and I
said, “Come in the water is fine,” and
the kaiser said, “Vot kind of a fool
business is dot?” and the kaiserine
said, “Der prince vill catch mit his
death,’ and I got out first and made a
run for the barn, and the prince said,
“I vill not catch a cold, but I vill
catch dot American Yankee softmore,”
and he caught me by the hair, and
gave me a left hook in the jaw, and a
right punch in the eye, and I landed
one in his stomach and lammed him
in the nose, and the servants took
us off of each other and separated us,
and my eye was black and his nose
was bleeding, and ' the kaiser said,
“Vich degree was dot?” and his wife
said, “O, such nonsense, the prince
should go to a convent,” and the
kaiser laughed and said I had better
put a cockroach postage stamp on my
eye, and then we went to the palace,
and washed up and put on clean
clothes and played billiards, and the
prince apologized for getting mad, and
I said, “Don’t mention it I will get
even when you take the degree of
“Royal Bumpers.” That’s the one
where the candidate gets his neck
broke.
(Copyright, 1909, by W. G. Chapman.)
(Copyright in Great Britain.)
0 5
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Galveston Labor Journal (Galveston, Tex.), Vol. 1, No. 21, Ed. 1 Friday, March 26, 1909, newspaper, March 26, 1909; Galveston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1447548/m1/4/: accessed June 12, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Rosenberg Library.