South Texas College of Law Annotations (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 38, No. 6, Ed. 1, April, 2006 Page: 2 of 8
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Page 2
April2006
Well, this is the time
for me to make
my closing com-
ments before I ritually pass
my gavel and copy of Rob-
erts Rules of Order on to the
new SB A President. I knew
this year was going to be a
challenge, and indeed, in
many ways, it has been; but
of course not only have the
rewards far outweighed the
stress, butthere have been
several staunch pillars of sup-
port to whom I have been
able to turn for sage advice
along the way. So, before I
make some final comments,
I would like extend my heart-
felt thanks to a few people
without whom this job would
have been near impossible
and surely less fun: Amy
Kavalewitz is not only the
power that keeps the SBA
A Final Message from SBA
President, Stephanie Clark
running so smoothly* but she
has also been an inestimable
source of balanced wisdom
on a host of matters from
proper procedure at meetings
to flawlessly organizing
events down to the tiniest
detail; Dean Alfini, who has
been generous with his time,
advice, and support for my
position this year; and Dean
Wheeler who graciously lis-
tened to me rant and rave
about certain issues on more
than one occasion. My pro-
fuse thanks goes to these in-
dividuals.
As I stand back and
survey the responsibilities of
the SBA this year, 1 think our
proudest accomplishment is
the way we gave back to the
Houston community. We
made a record donation to the
Houston Food Bank, rallied
together to support new stu-
dents displaced because of
hurricane Katrina, and helped
The Rose fight breast cancer
with our charity Softball tour-
nament. Also, many indi-
vidual organizations at STCL
individually contributed to
civic and charitable causes
through their various
fundraisers.
Most people who
graduate from law school are
Really Dumb Criminals
By Judgt Larry Gist
Guest Columnist
b everybody working, in
W"H the criminal justice
J—^system has seen more
than their share of offenders
who appear dead set on get-
ting caught Their stupidity lit-
erally jumps out at you. But
some are just naturally set
apart. And you wonder how
in the world somebody could
be so incredibly dumb.
Let's take a look at this
year's winners from around
the country.
In Yankton, South Da-
kota, a woman was arrested
at her son's Boy Scout meet-
ing. At the meeting was an
officer who was there to
demonstrate his drug dog's
ability. While waiting fen: the
demonstrations, the dog
alerted on marijuana in her
purse and she was promptly
hauled off to jail.
A guy walked up to a
convenience store clerk in
Colorado Springs, and armed
with a shotgun demanded
money from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the
money in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of scotch on the
shelf behind the counter.
He told the clerk to put
the bottle in the bag but the
clerk refused "because I
don't believe you are 21."
The robber asserted he was
in fact 21 years old but the
clerk refused to believe him.
So the robber handed the
clerk his driver's license to
prove his age.
The clerk looked it over,
agreed he was 21 years old
and put the scotch in the bag.
As the robber ran from the
store, the clerk called the po-
lice and provided the man's
name and address from his
license. The robber was ar-
rested shortly thereafter at his
home.
In north Texas, a woman
reported her car as stolen and
mentioned that she had left
her cell phone inside. Hie
officer receiving die report
lice. He was arrested as he
crossed the street returning to
the Bank of America.
In England, a motorist
was caught in an automatic
photo speed trap and a few
days later received a picture
called the cell phone number
and the thief answered. The
officer indicated he had seen
in the paper that the car was
for sale and was interested in
paying cash to buy it A meet-
ing was arranged and when
the thief showed up to sell the
car he was arrested.
In San Francisco, a man
wanted to rob the Bank of
America. He walked in the
bank and on the back of the
deposit slip he wrote: "this iz
astickup. Put all your muny
in this bag."
While waiting in line to
give his note to the tell, he
got worried that someone
might have seen him write
the note. So he left the Bank
of America and went across
the street to the Wells Fargo
bank. After waiting in line
there, he eventually reached
the teller and handed over die
note. The teller realized from
reading the note that he was
not the brightest light in the
harbor and told him she could
not accept the note because
it was on a Bank of America
deposit slip. She advised him
that the note could only be
accepted at that bank. Ashe
left, the teller called the po-
of his car from the police and
a ticket for 40 pounds. In-
stead of making a payment,
the man took a photo of 40
pounds and mailed it to the
police. Several days later, he
received a letter from the po-
lice containing a picture of
handcuffs. He mailed in the
money the same day.
During a robbery trial in
Oklahoma, the defendant in-
worried about different
things. You might be nervous
about starting that new job -
or getting a job. Perhaps
you're overwhelmed with the
loan you must repay. And I
bet a couple of you are think-
ing right now, "I should have
been a dentist." No matter
what you do after law school,
your diploma qualifies you to
go out into the world and
make a difference. Enjoy ev-
ery moment of every choice.
Just remember one thing: as
an attorney you have a spe-
cial responsibility to rise to a
higher standard! I am confi-
dent that the lives you touch
sisted that he wanted to rep-
resent himself. When the vic-
tim testified that the defen-
dant was the robber, the de-
fendant jumped up and
shouted: "I should have
blown you (expletive) head
off when I had the chance."
The jury took less than a
minute to convict him of a
crime.
In Detroit, R.C. Gaitlan
walked up to two patrol of-
ficers were showing their
squad car off to a group of
local children. Of particular
interest was their new felon
locator computer. When
Gaitlan asked how it worked,
the officers asked for his iden-
tification and punched it into
the computer. Moments later
based on the computer reply,
they arrested Gaitlan on an
outstanding robbery warrant
from St. Louis.
Also in Detroit, a pair of
robbers entered a record
shop nervously waiving re-
volvers. One shouted "don't
nobody" move." When the
other robber moved, he shot
him.
in this profession will be bet-
ter because of your presence.
My hope for each of you is
that you will seize your re-
sponsibilities as lawschool
graduates outside your pro-
fessional life and engage in a
life-long journey of civic en-
gagement and compassionate
respect for others.
Thank you all for a
great year. I have no doubt
that Brian Rhodes, who will
step into the presidential
shoes, will do a terrific job.
And finally, in Charlotte,
North Carolina, a man pur-
chased a box of very rare and
expensive cigars. He then
insured them against fire,
among other things.
Within a month he had
smoked the entire box. He
then filed an insurance claim
stating that the cigars "were
destroyed in a series of small
fires." Based on the specific
wording of the insurance
policy, he won his claim and
was awarded $15,000.
Rather than endure a long
and expensive appeal, the in-
surance company paid the
claim. After the man cashed
the check, the insurance com-
pany had him arrested on 24
counts of arson. The main
evidence consisted of his in-
surance claim form and his
testimony in the previous
trial. He was convicted of in-
tentionally burning his insured
property and sentenced to
prison. How dumb can you
get?
Some people make the
enforcement of law so much
easier, don't they?
■
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Granberry, Afton. South Texas College of Law Annotations (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 38, No. 6, Ed. 1, April, 2006, newspaper, April 2006; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth144573/m1/2/: accessed May 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting South Texas College of Law.